I feel the best testimony we can give to our deceased loved ones is how we live our lives. Don't deny yourself life, because death teaches us that every day of life is precious and worth living to the fullest. We can actually grow by taking care of our own needs. You will heal, but only as you allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions as you journey through grief. Our loved ones are still and always will be part of us. They are the threads in our fabric and we can not lose their love.

Do not avoid talking about the deceased. Remember sometimes when a person dies, friends and family members avoid talking about the person, as if ignoring the absence will make it go away. It is important not to ignore the loss, but remember the loved one in some way.

Remember, focus on your loved one's life not the death. That can make a difference and it is okay to have a good time even though we have had a loss. Our love for the deceased is not measured by how much we grieve, but how we continue to live. Time itself does not heal. But time helps if we do our part by acknowledging our pain, encouraging ourselves to grow, and accepting our situation.

Do not isolate yourself. Be involved! You can not run away from it. Accept the invitations as much as you can, go to the things you feel you can enjoy. Take part in your faith, traditions, and church. Your faith can be a great comfort. Find someone who will walk hand in hand with you.

Why Must we say Good-bye?

By Carol O'Leary of Glenwood, Maryland -
Bereavement Magazine January/February 2002

Why must we say good-bye right now?
Can I manage without you? I don't know how.
I look for answers from everyone.
I want to believe God's work was done.

It's hard to understand why He took you from here.
Perhaps, to the Lord, you are ever so dear.
He has His arms open and welcomes you home,
While still on this earth, I continue to roam.

Maybe you will look down with the greatest of pride,
Knowing the love for you I carry inside.
While thinking of you, my heart warms with a rush
When I speak to you softly in a loving hush.

Do you hear my thoughts and know of my fears?
Is it your love I feel as I wipe away the tears?
My sorrow is heavy as we now come to part,
But your memories will linger forever in my heart.

The Day You Became an Angel

By Carol Uden of Yuma, Arizona -
Bereavement Magazine July/August 2001

The day you left this earth was as special as can be.
It's the day that you grew wings and finally could be free.
Free from all the pain that you suffered through so long.
Free from all the days that you tried to be so strong.
You always kept that smile so firmly on your face.
Even when you knew it would too soon be erased.
I remember the day you said your last good-bye.
It was not with a word,
we just knew by the look in your eye.
You gazed at us one final time as if to let us know
That you would finally be okay, and it was time to go.
Your everlasting spirit then began to soar
toward your destination
One gate of Heaven's door.
It was so tragically unfair that you had
to leave that minute,
But Heaven sure is lucky to have an angel like you in it.